Many people say that the nature of a man is often defined by the attitude and behavior of his wife at home. Although this theory is often debatable, some women might agree that the happiness and wellbeing of the family depends significantly on how they behave with their husbands. Women are the main source of comfort and warmth in the family. Their attitude and behavior can certainly influence the way their husbands behave at home. The following two scenarios will demonstrate how men can define their way of life according to how their wives behave with them.
It is very sad that animals can’t speak our language and many of us do not have the heart to feel their emotions. Although they can’t express pain and suffering as we kill them, there is no doubt that they too love themselves like we do and have the right to live like us. In fact, I believe we all have a soft corner within our heart that naturally responds to any pain or suffering we see around us, but our worldly desires and greed often overshadow this sensitive part of us and turn us into monsters. I have realized that there are some people who exist like robots and can afford to do anything without even the slightest sense of guilt.
I and my wife have been married for over twelve years now, and we have never gone through any major conflict of interest till date. Despite occasional arguments over trivial matters, our children have never seen any violence in the house. I feel this has been possible because both my wife and I know our boundaries well and respect each other’s views. We never take unilateral decisions when it comes to family matters and we always consult each other and because of this, I feel our married life has been going on smoothly so far. We got engaged in May 2003 when I was still in the university, yet we have managed to walk together the unexplored path of life sharing happiness and sadness, successes and failures, and problems and solutions. Today, we have been blest with two sons and one adopted daughter all of whom have made our life extraordinarily beautiful and lovely.
The 1998 academic sessions had just begun and the classes were going in full swing. There was a glow of excitement on everybody’s face as we sat in new classrooms with new syllabus to study. I was in 10th grade and as usual, everything was moving on smoothly for me. We the visually impaired students of grade 9 and above were studying in Khaling Jigme Sherubling Higher Secondary School as day-scholars and we had to walk about a kilometer or so from Muenselling Institute to attend classes everyday. We used to walk in groups to and from our school often teasing and greeting the students of Khaling Primary School as we passed through their campus on the way.
The fragrance of a flower lies in its petals, not in its brilliance
The true love of a person lies in the heart, not in the caste or appearance;
People say a stone can also show love if you hold it with trust and right opinion
But even nectar can be poisonous if you take it with suspicion.
I neither have wings to fly like a bird in the sky
Nor do I have the fins like a fish in the ocean to swim by,
But I always have a sacred room in my heart
Where you can forever live like a princess as in the art.
You just give me your heart where I forever can be,
And I shall fight all the obstacles that get between you and me;
I shall never let the external force disturb and destroy
This beautiful journey of our love and joy
For, I have loved you with the heart of a true friend
And decided to walk with you the rest of my life hand-in-hand.
No matter what tragedies befall us on the way,
May our hearts never break away!
May our hearts never break away!
My daughter Anju Rai is just 12-years-old but she is mature enough to share most of the responsibilities in the family. Whenever she does not have to study, she helps her mother in the kitchen and other domestic chores. She is very interested in cooking and she can in fact prepare more delicious meals than my wife. Initially, I was hesitant to let her use electric appliances and cooking gas but my wife was of the view that unless she was given the opportunity, she would never learn. I fully agreed with my wife and we gradually let her work in the kitchen and soon she came out as a more independent person. Today whenever my wife is not around, I don’t have to worry about anything because I always have my daughter to rely on.
I can never forget that night
When you just hugged me tight
And promised that you would keep me forever in your heart
Although you had not fully recovered from the pain of the previous cut.
A couple of weeks ago, I was very happy to know that my brother-in-law still had the old magazine of National Institute for the Disabled (NID) in Khaling where I studied from 1990-2001. The magazine was published in 1999 to mark the Silver Jubilee of the Institute which started as Zangley Muenseling School for the Blind in 1973. I was studying in grade X when this magazine was published and as a senior student, I got the opportunity to contribute three articles for the magazine. Now after 17 years, I get a mixed feeling while going through my own articles. I feel as though I have wound back my time by 17 years because I feel I am re-living those days in Khaling. So, I would like to share those three poems which I had written 17 years ago as a tribute to my king, country and the institute. I am afraid the language is not as good as it appeared then. But I guess they would be worth your time.
Whenever I hold my 5-year-old son Rigden in my arms, the image of my late younger brother often flashes through my mind. I think he was about the same age as my son when he died. He was about four years younger to me. Like my son Rigden, he was active, jolly and of course, I should say he was intelligent. I still have vivid memories of those days when he used to help me when I became blind. Even when he was busy taking meals, he would stop eating and help me to go to toilet whenever requested. That way, he was very helpful and supportive even at such a tender age. I always wish if he were still alive.
What a big dream I had in my life
But as misfortunes stabbed me one after another with a sharp knife,
All my dreams have gone down the drain
And here in the pool of my own blood I am still crying with pain.
I must have been little more than 9-years-old and I was still recovering from the painful experience of having lost my sight. As a visually impaired child, I had been busy finding ways to adapt myself to the new environment which I had lived in only at nights. But as days piled up into weeks and then to months, I slowly began to find some comfort in my new world. My life started rolling back to normalcy as children of my age in the neighborhood resumed to play with me although I was never the same person who had played with them before. It was in Trashila in Wangdue Phodrang where we had to travel on a cable-box from Chhu Zomsa. My father was working for a company which produced charcoal. Most of the people working there were from our village in Chengmari, Samtse and hence, we lived as a small community.
Since 1991, the integrated education policy was introduced in Khaling to help the visually impaired children cope with sighted people in the same learning environment. This was initiated to enable the blind children to develop relevant skills and abilities to live an independent life by interacting with sighted children. As a result of this policy, we were required to attend classes in regular schools at least three days a week. I was studying in grade II when this policy came into effect. So, I went to Khaling Primary School thrice a week to study with other sighted children. It was during this time when I first met a girl called Sonam Dema. We soon became close friends as she happened to be a relative of one of my senior friends. We soon came to the end of the academic year but once again met in grade III in the following year.
Lavishly adorned with lovely lovely flowers,
The world of May has finally made its appearance
Over the hills and dales with all magical powers
To bless every heart with a thrill of heavenly experience.